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Hey guys!
It’s been a while since I actually took some time to sit down and write something on here. I’ve been super focused on booting up my YouTube channel that’s associated with this blog (the link will be down below!). However, I recently had a truly upsetting experience that I felt the need to share, and I couldn’t think of a better place to do so than here! For those who know me and have been following/hearing about this blog since its conception, you know I started it to document my natural hair journey. That journey, although still ongoing, has already taught me so much about myself, the world, and my heritage. It’s been so empowering and has taught me to love myself in ways I never thought possible. Most women prior to beginning their journey to going natural know that with each day comes unpredictable hurdles to overcome and battles to win; but you count on your loved ones and others in the community to help you make it through the war. I think this is the main reason why my experience at the salon was particularly hurtful: These supposed allies turned out to be enemies in disguise, and although it was for a brief moment, they made me doubt my progress and growth.
I initially had planned to type out the story and describe the exchanges at length; but as I started, I realized that doing so felt petty and would go against the entire reason I’m making this post. I will say that in summary, comments were made alluding to the idea that I don’t care about my natural hair and I was really bad at taking care of it. The comments that the employees made to me were extremely hurtful. Like it bothered me for a few days you Guys! That’s how bad it was. If you’ve been following my journey, you know that one of the things I’ve been most excited and proud about was how I’ve learned to really care for my hair and lost the fear I had of wearing it out by itself. Their comments totally discounted the progress I had made and all of the growth I have achieved and made me feel so, so small. Guys, in life, whether it’s natural hair, your career goals, your life goals, there will most likely be someone who thinks they know you and your life, and try to bring you down. DONT LET THEM! They 10000% don’t deserve to have that kind of control over you! You’re allowed to feel sad/hurt for a little (you are a human after all, not a robot!) but then use that as motivation to prove them wrong and KEEP GRINDING. Since that visit to the salon, you best believe that I have been loading UP on that coconut oil (major key) and the creams and the lotions so I can walk back in that place for my next trim with a huge, beautiful, and moisturized fro! I also realized I really want to make sure I do more natural hair care on the YouTube channel so be looking out for those videos! 

Another smaller lesson is to make sure you do your own research when it comes to your hair! The salon was quick to tell me how dry my hair was and how I was bad at taking care of it, but not a single person asked me what products I was using or suggested some different options in regards to how to fix my problems. Being a natural hair blogger, I shortly realized (with the help of a fellow curlfriend) my problem was the products I was using. I have thick, high density, low porosity hair, which already makes it harder for it to stay moisturized (mind you NONE of these terms were mentioned or discussed at my appointment) and my main moisturizer I was using had glycerin pretty high in the ingredient list! If what I am saying sounds completely foreign to you, you should check out this naturally curly article that is extremely helpful and inspired my most recent video. So I’ve recently started using glycerin free products and it’s been working Wonders! The video I made shows you the quick and easy tests mentioned in the article that can help you determine your hair density and porosity, and in turn make better product and styling choices for your hair. The website gives you some great product options, but if you want to know specifically what I’m using for my low porosity high density hair, leave comments below!

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This month marked my 6 months since my big chop and making the decision to go natural. I have learned so many things about my hair and about myself and I am so excited to continue on this wonderful journey; however, as I type this right now, I am back to wearing a weave. There are a lot of people who would argue that I’m regressing or that I caved and went back to “the dark side,” but I completely disagree!

At first, I was really struggling with my choice to go back into a weave because I was sort of halfway listening to all of those comments people were making. I had started on my journey to learn to love my natural hair and learn to take care of it and appreciate it as a part of who I am, and I worried that going back into a weave after all this time would take away from that. My hair had visibly grown since I first started and I was so excited that people I knew and were following me on my journey noticed and pointed it out to me! I was getting a lot of compliments on my progress and how it looked on me in general, which was absolutely incredible to me and super fulfilling. I had finally gotten to a point where I felt pretty confident about working with my hair and really owning it and still feeling feminine and beautiful (which was really huge for me you guys). But..when it came down to it..I was super bored.

Those who have known me for a while, or even those who just follow my blog, if you read my post about my hair journey you can see how often I like to change it up. To me, hair has always been an avenue for creative expression and trying out new things; and, although one of the things I have learned to love most about my natural hair is its versatility, I was really missing having a pony tail and I was craving some color for summer. I’ve come a looong way in learning how to do some different types of things with my hair, but I was absolutely no where near ready to dye or lighten my natural hair. Guys, I’ve just been scared switching up the products I use because I’m terrified of losing all of my hard work! A lot of naturalistas out there are at the point where they’re willing to take risks and try new things because it’s just hair and it will grow back… but I can comfortably say I’m definitely not there yet (one day!). So getting this weave let me play around and do some fun things without potentially damaging my hair.

Another huge thing that a lot of people tend to forget is weaves can be a great protective style. I’m one of those people whose hair grows a lot when it is just tucked away and left to do its own thang without any manipulation by me. I also suffer from a horrible case of HIH syndrome (hands in hair syndrome) where I am constantly touching my hair and detangling and just getting all of those horrible icky oils from my hands onto and into my hair that just dry it out. So for me, weaves let me safely suffer from my disorder.

Lastly and most importantly, weaves make me feel so confident and good about myself. It was hard for me to admit this, because I thought it was a bad thing, but I’ve decided it’s really not. The whole point of the natural hair movement is to encourage women to love themselves and who they are while learning to care for their hair. If wearing a weave makes you feel confident and beautiful then I think you should do it! Everyone’s journey and personal situation is completely different and I think it’s important for people to remember that whilst on your journey, you should do what’s best for you. For me, I can say that this time around I am in a completely different mindset than when I would only wear weaves. Back then it felt like something I had to do to feel beautiful and now I know that that’s just not true at all. Big, bold hair will always always always fit with my personality and who I am, and I dream of the day when I nurse my own hair to get to that point. Until then, I am comfortable with faking it for the time being. Now there are also incredible brands like Runway Curls that create beautiful, 100% authentic human hair extensions that you can blow dry, straighten, dye, and do everything that you would want to do with your real hair without experiencing any of the damage or stress that comes along with styling. I work with this brand because of its dedication to the natural movement and teaching girls to love their natural texture, which I think is super important and is perfect for what I want in my weave right now! A lot of people also are hating on the Brazilian hair look, but I’m gonna be real with y’all and say that I don’t think it’s the most horrible thing. Curly hair takes a lot of work and effort and if your present lifestyle makes that difficult for you, or even if you just want a short vacation from the curly life and want to enjoy the luxury of being able to wake up and throw your hair in a pony and go, I say go for it (although I have found that having hair that matches your natural texture is so much better and easier when it comes to blending in new growth and keeping people guessing about whether you grew that hair or not)! Everyone is different and has different needs, and I think in the end we need to be focusing on encouraging people to do what’s best for them and their hair and makes them feel the best about themselves. Isn’t this movement about love and support anyways?!

Let me know what you think below!

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Guys.  Please ignore the fact that I look like a homeless hunchback lumberjack and CHECK OUT THAT GROWTH!!!  Only 4 months after my big chop!!  I was super faithful to my regimen to get this far (which means a lot of moisture and faithful deep conditioning) and I think I owe a lot of this new growth to my protective style!  It was an extremely harsh winter and I was determined to keep my hair safe and tucked away so it was braided with a little bit left out so I could wear my Big Chop U-Part wig, which I absolutely LOVED.

 

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so fierce right?  I don’t think I will ever not love big dramatic hair.  So this was an extremely exciting time for me because I could really see how much progress I had made in such a short amount of time!  My edges were filled in and thick and I was getting length on the top which was sooo unbelievably exciting.  It’s always nice to see progress after you put a lot of hard work (and TLC) into something, but I think especially for women of color who have believed the lie that your hair doesn’t grow for so long..this is proof..it grows!!  I’m going to keep this post fairly short, because this is already 2 months old and I am officially at my 6 month mark!!  I just wanted to catch you guys up from when I was being a bad blogger.  In addition to posting my 6 month length check update pictures, I will also be posting a piece about my choice/use of protective styles so stay tuned for that!  As always, I’d love to see pictures of you on your journey and hear about the things you’ve experienced along the way so please share in the comments below!  Stay encouraged, stay moisturizing, and remember that shrinkage is too real y’all.

 

 

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