What a whirlwind. I’m currently sitting at my gate at the Detroit Airport trying to wrap my mind around the past few days, playing one song on repeat on my iPod to act as a sort of soundtrack to the marathon of memories I’m playing over and over in my head. Funerals are pretty bittersweet; you try to navigate the simultaneous but conflicting emotions of grief and celebration of a loved one leaving behind the constraints of this world, while also enjoying the gift of having all of your family together in one place for the sole purpose of grieving a mutual loss. It results in this foggy, wet, exhausting, constantly shifting state of existence that I haven’t quite shaken yet. I feel like there are few times when someone is prepared for the death of a loved one, so it feels a bit cliché to say that I wasn’t prepared for this weekend; but this particular loss has impacted me and changed me forever.
My auntie was one of the most incredible people I ever had the pleasure of knowing. I always knew this, but I didn’t know the extent to how incredible she truly was until I got the chance to hear about all the things she did and the lives she impacted. A long time ago she was in a major car accident with my dad, another one of my aunts, and two of my cousins. This ultimately resulted in the death of one of those cousins and my aunt becoming paralyzed from the neck down. She was given a life expectancy that she had long surpassed and dedicated her life to helping people manage their disabilities and adjust to daily life and its requirements. A lot of these people came to her funeral and spoke of the things she did and who she was to them and I was just in complete awe. I knew she was very active in her wheelchair basketball league but I had no idea that she created it! I also didn’t know that she was a killer ping-pong player and was on the boards of multiple organizations for disability advocacy working so hard every day to make people feel acknowledged and understood.
So many people spoke about how she inspired them to do something or helped them become better versions of themselves. She had a way of empowering you and making you feel loved that was so special. I’ll never forget how she led me to finally share my musical abilities with my family (that is filled with musical geniuses.. forreal y’all it’s so intimidating) after years of being too scared to do so and having it come full circle with them asking me to play my music and complimenting me at various points throughout our time of gathering this weekend.
As the events of the weekend concluded, I began to see so much of myself in my aunt. Whether it was how much she cared about her appearance (she ALWAYS made sure she looked her best and would always compliment me on my accessories) or her ambition and drive to spark change, spread love, and influence lives. She did so much and helped so many while defying all the odds; and now, more than ever, I am determined to carry on her legacy and do the same.
Love you auntie, you’re forever in my heart
